Language learning is killing me right now. Seriously, it feels like its draining everything out of me and I’m just doing enough to get out of bed in the morning. It’s certainly not something I look forward to on a daily basis, which is a sad fact right now. This is my job. This is preparing me for my job. But it’s just miserable right now.
The worst part is: I feel helpless. There are a lot of opportunities that FSI gives us to speak about how to improve ourselves and get better at language and blah-blah-blah, because honestly – none of its working. I’ve been to what seems like a language learning guidance counselor (me, who habitually ignored all guidance counselors ever) twice now and not that her advice is bad, but it’s not helping. There is never enough time. Yes, I do spend time reading the paper/reading/going grocery shopping/breathing/showering/eating, but I’d like my brain not to collapse.
I just wrote some vocab lists on quizlet and it turns out I’ve learned – just from readings alone – 300+ words in the last two weeks. That’s not even including all the words and grammar from my two lessons that I’ve learned. What’s killing me right now? My teacher. It’s pretty much a constant chastisement for three-four hours a day. Telugu has three different words for each English word, that are then merged with other words (because WHY THE HELL NOT?!) to change what the word looks like so I can’t recognize it. And then when I get confused and can’t remember the definition, my teacher goes “how do you not know that? We’ve had this word already. You should know this.” Yeah, because trying to memorize 400+ vocab words should be easy-peasy! Not only that, the vocab has little in common with each other. So, while my lesson is on vegetables and parties, my readings are on boats sinking and leopards eating goats. Sorry I don’t remember the damn word for lamb!
And there’s still no easy way to learn these damn words. And like I have time to memorize them all when I’m also supposed to be spending time doing my homework, reading extra articles, doing listening practice AND speaking practice. How is it possible?
I guess I have to figure something out. But right now, I don’t know what that is.